Riding Shotgun

Thanks to my editor, I’m quickly gaining a reputation as an inmate that can get cool stuff mailed in. You’d think that inmates would get tons of games and other vices sent to them by family and friends, but this is really not the case. As I’ve said before, a lot of inmates get abandoned by their families while they’re incarcerated. It’s sad, but that’s what happens. Personally, I don’t think I’d be able to handle the suckitude of prison without the occasional helping hand from the outside.

Well, in addition to making a board game, I’ve been having other gaming materials sent in. And since gaming geeks always want more of their fix, this has turned into a little hustle for me.

A guy I gave some gaming stuff to broke it up into smaller groups to spread the cost amongst the gamers. He asked me for permission beforehand. Since I know gamers to be a generally reliable group of people, I gave him my consent.

The cost of the set of gaming stuff was split four ways. By the end of the week, three people had paid for their portions without incident. Of course, the last guy was a problem.

To be honest, I never really liked the guy. He is really, REALLY immature. You’d think that a stint in prison would force anyone to grow up pretty fast, but not THIS guy. Imagine a skinny, 20-year-old twerp with Harry Potter glasses, who’s incredibly self-centered, and who will lie constantly to get whatever he wants.

He had started to lie to people denying the fact that he’s gay, even though it was old news and everybody on the compound knew it. This earned him the nickname Snowflake, and he can’t stand it, which is why we ALWAYS use that in place of his real name. Don’t feel sorry for him; if you knew him, he’d get on your nerves as well. Then he’d laugh when you told him to act his age. How he’s survived prison thus far is a complete mystery to me.

So, because of “unforeseen circumstances,” he said that he wouldn’t be able to pay me. Now even though I wasn’t upset about it, the inmate I originally struck the deal with was furious. He had vouched for ALL these people, including Snowflake, that they would pay on time. The fact that Snowflake had reneged at the last minute was a black mark on HIS reputation, and he wasn’t about to tolerate it. This guy was ready to force Snowflake to check into the hole.

“The gamers are a CAR, not a gang,” he said. “I asked Snowflake three times if he’d be able to cover the debt, and he said that it would be no problem. I’m sick of putting up with his lies. He’s got until the end of the day to pay off the debt, or else. And I’m removing him from the group. If he chooses to disrespect me, then he has no place among us.”

When I asked him how he’d be able to remove Snowflake from the group, he told me that he was the shot-caller for the gamers. (We have a shot-caller?) The others would have no choice but to fall in line. And to believe all this was over a debt of $7.50.

I told him that Snowflake could pay me whenever, but he found this unacceptable. Apparently, he’d had some issues with Snowflake before, and this was the last straw. He was more upset about the disrespect than the money.

Inmates put a high value on respect in prison, and failure to pay this bill will do more than just send a debt collector to your door. People have wound up in the hole for a minor slight, others in the grave. Make sure to keep your ledger of respect balanced in the black if you should ever find yourself in prison.

Finally, the word got out to Snowflake’s boyfriend that the shot-caller was on the warpath. The boyfriend quickly defused the situation by fronting the money for him. Snowflake ended up getting exiled from the gaming community for a couple of weeks, but now he’s back in. I’m just happy that the situation is OVER.