Every other Saturday, all inmates in the hole are randomly assigned to a different cell. Today was the day, and I lucked out this time. I got a room with amenities. Let me explain . . .
- Gremlin-Free Zone: The cops moved all the gremlins down the hall, meaning that I can finally get some sleep. Woo-hoo! Why didn’t they do this sooner?!
- A Window That OPENS: They have the air conditioning cranked up way too high, and it’s been making me sick. In addition, the cops force everyone to make their beds by 7:30 a.m. during the weekdays, so I can’t snuggle up under the covers to stay warm. They finally assigned me to a cell with a working window, so now I can let in that good ‘ol Texas heat to warm me up. Only half the cells in the hole have windows that open.
- A Proper Cell Door: A good cell door helps you keep the bugs out. There are tons and tons of crickets in the hole, and the staff doesn’t worry about pest control here. The cops merely step around the crickets as they perform their duties. You have to shove something under the door to keep them out of your cell, but the bugs may come in anyway if your door jiggles too much. This door happens to be completely flush with the jamb, so my room is bug-proof. I think.
- Free Complimentary Harem: Some kind soul toothpasted pictures of a Latina swimsuit model to the underside of the top bunk. To him, I say thank you. However, in the future, you may want to remove the pictures of your WIFE or GIRLFRIEND that you also pasted. I know they’re now icky with OraLine toothpaste, but do you really want other inmates using your lover’s pictures for “manual entertainment”? Just a thought.
I think that this is the best cell I’ve had since I came to the hole. I just have to cross my fingers now and hope that I get transferred before the next move.
To be continued . . .
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